So, today, I...

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Got some brie and Waffa crackers? How about Triscuits and cheddar? Never mind, Ritz and Cheeze Whiz will do--because I have plenty of whine and I'm about to share it with you. You'll need sustenance. 

First, and I know, this  bit is my own fault, I just couldn't stop researching to go to sleep this morning. After I read some cool freebies by Alyssa Brio, and some crappy freebies by...let's call this author Anonymous, and ultimately got a three second call from my British actor friend --Yahoo is beginning to seriously annoy me--I tried to sleep. (Who DID catch up with me later, as you'll see) 

I was in and out when my sister went off to work. Shortly after that, though, someone else tried to go to work and failed...their car complained strenuously. 

A little later, the big bird--my daughter's bird (I love the guy, and I call him mine when he acts like he loves me back)--well, he likes a little song and dance in the morning. I get that 9:00 AM is actually late for birds to get up. Still, it's early for me. Regardless, I played a few songs he likes but weren't obnoxious to my half-asleep self. I should tell you now that I'm bad company when I wake up, no matter when that is. Doesn't matter to Banana, though. He wants me front and center until he gets sleepy again. So, no going to the bathroom! Only, that's a must for me first thing. A MUST!

So, Mr. Big Green Bird and I settle our disagreement and move on with our day. All is well...until I decide to take a shower. 

I won't paint you a vivid picture here, but let's just say, things fell apart. I use a wheelchair--no leg strength and perpetual dizziness. That chair--nearly new, top of the line, ultra lightweight--started to fall apart. The brake went sideways...I always have problems with brakes. The side guard seemed to shoot forward when I tried to move from chair to shower bench. And then! And then! The whole thing just shot forward in a tilt. Mind you, I'm transferring to a lightweight, aluminum and plastic (think Rubber-Maid) portable bench. It didn't absorb the sudden shift in weight as easily as you'd think. 

I'm so glad I installed that extra gripper thing on the edge of the shower wall. 

Finally, after my shot--hit a vein, of course, so lots of blood *sigh*--the bathroom follies were over.

What follows here are bits and clips from various conversations that took place through the early hours of the morning until now (names have been changed to protect...somebody):

I.M. --4:00AM

BonitaTx: Oh, girl! I knew it! I knew you'd start dating again!

Me: What? Hi. Dating? Me? What are you talking about?

BonitaTx: Tom! You know--that guy who brings you flowers and all. Tom! I saw it on your blog.

Me: We're neighbors. Buddies. Close friends. And why didn't you comment? Are you allergic?

BonitaTx: Guys don't buy flowers for no reason. You're dating. You bought him that cup. 

Me: We've never gone anywhere together. We've never had a meal together. We're friends. It was his birthday.

BonitaTx: Whatever, girl. You're dating. Accept it.

Me: He's a great guy. Considerate, lives nearby--unlike -- oh good grief. We're not dating. it's none of your business, and get a life.

BonitaTx: You're dating.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phone 9:30ish AM:

"Hello, J.! Sleep well?"

>"You woke me up, Ed."

"We start early around here. So...have you given any thought to that article?"

>"What article? No. No thought."

"Oh, come on! It could do us a lot of good. The business would pick up, who knows what could open up for you?"

>"Ed. I don't teach anymore. I don't want things opening up. I want sleep."

"Don't try to tell me you don't need money. You're home all day. What do you do all day? That writing thing can't pay very much. I don't hear your name on the news."

>"..."

"J.? You there?"

>"You know what, Ed? Never call me again. Write your own article..."

"Look, don't be that way. I'm sorry I demeaned your hobby..."

>"Ed. If you're bleeding, call 911. If you're dying, call your mother. Never, ever call me again." 

"J..." click

I went back to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I.M. (not that long ago)

Bic: All right, GiGi?

Me: :) Bic! What's going on in the exciting world of stage and screen?

Bic:  Who's this Tom? I thought he was your neighbor?

Me: He IS my neighbor. SO? 

Bic: What's with all the pressies? Flowers?

Me: Good lord. What, you just read my blog, didn't you? From the beginning, I suppose? and no comment? What's with that? 

Bic: I had down time. It's not like I can ring you directly.

Me: You could. As long as you don't wake me up. I'm not human then.

Bic: Like that cockup this morning, I s'pose? What of this boyfriend?

Me: No boyfriend. None. Tom is a dear friend. He's a great guy, and if I did have a boyfriend, I'm sure I couldn't do much better.

Bic: Are you sleeping with him?

Me: ...

Bic: Well?

Me: In light of our years of friendship, I'll answer that nosy, intrusive, none-of-your-business question. No. We are not. 

Bic: What do you mean you couldn't do better than Tom? 

Me: What is WRONG with you, Bic? Are you having some kind of a tantrum? You and I are friends. Longtime friends, yes. Platonic, longtime friends. No mushy stuff, no boy/girl stuff Friends.

Bic: We've talked about sex.

Me: Yes. When you feel like being gay--because your significant other is annoying you somehow. That's it. And frankly, that's plenty.

Bic: No need to get shirty. I'm just pointing out that I'm equally as good a friend as this Tom. And I would make a fine boyfriend, if the circumstances warranted. 

Me: What a baby! Yes, I'm sure you would make a great boyfriend. As for being a better friend, I can't say. Tom visited me in the hospital, brings me plants and flowers, in spite of the fact that i kill them, every time...and I can talk to him pretty much whenever. You, not so much. Besides, this isn't a competition. I've written you into several stories and a few longer books.

Bic: That last one, Metamorphose? I wanted to be Wynn, but you made me Rand. I thought you were going to change that. 

Me: *sigh* You're kidding right? They're both British, you can be whichever one you wanted. If it makes you feel better, I've never written Tom into a book.

Bic: It does. Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a headache. I'm going to go write for awhile. And that's it for now.  

J.J. Massa

www.jjmassa.com

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Right in the middle of the page--can't miss it!

Review Policy

My Review Policy.

This was recently posted by a reviewer whose blog I follow. She doesn't review the sort of books I write, and that's a good thing. I'll never be tempted to ask--she does review books I like, to some extent, and has a lot of cool things to say, just in general. I'm posting her review policy here, because I like it. I'm not sure I'd always LOVE it, but she strives to be fair and is pretty up front about it.


Things Authors Should Know About Bad Reviews 
The True Confessions of a Book Reviewer


Friends of mine have heard me say things like--fair's only fair to the winner, or fair is subjective. It all depends on what your basis for comparison is. So, if you, as a writer, want a review, you have to ask yourself this one question:

No matter what you think of reviews and reviewers, if you're writing a book, even if it's your tenth book, check out those links. If you're a reader or reviewer, read them and know that most authors, though we don't like getting a bad review, know that not everyone will like what they write.

It's okay to have an opinion or criticism. It's helpful if you use your opinion or criticism constructively.

 That is all.

 J.J.

I think I missed Thursday

Hi!

Every Thursday after this, you will, from now on, find a post from a guest blogger--a starving artist who doesn't write books for a living. Or maybe a not-so-starving artist, as the case may be.

I'm still having the contest for new blog joiners -- it stretches through the end of this month, so anyone who joins or follows one of my blogs is eligible to win a $5 Gift Card--reader's choice. 

This month, there will be two winners. One winner will be someone who was already a member before the first of August, and the second from new joiners. Every week from now on, there will be book giveaways and a Gift Card giveaway at the end of the month.

Okay, that's  the serious info…well, the serious blog news, at least. 

  Well, there is ONE other thing. Jeannie Y. was named  the  J.J. Nagged Me! Winner for this month. For her suffering, she won a PDF of the first book of the  International Worlds Museum Series, Metamorphose.  

Now, enough about all that. I bet you're wondering about the actor that didn't show up today. Okay, the actor whose blog post didn’t show up today. You've got to be asking yourself what happened. Is he okay? Was it some tragic behind-the-scenes issue?

He met up with another of my best friends for drinks. I expect they got smashed. I'm not angry about it, though, I'm pouty. They went to a bar on the beach --in another state, I'll admit that-- but still, I didn’t get to go. They went off and had fun while I tried to fix my deleted email box, scoop the kitty litter, and a plethora of other, not-fun-at-all things.

No, I'm not bitter, why do you ask?

I have a lot to get done and I'm getting nowhere at all, so I plan to install one of those meters (or several) so that you can keep up with how much or how little I've gotten done on various books. Don't worry if it looks like I've got a long way to go. As soon as the guy upstairs turns his music down below 124 dB, I'll be able to hear myself think. You wouldn't think that would be important, but trust me, it is.

The birds, the dog, and the cats would agree with you. Just look what it's doing to the bird!

 

I thought that guy was evicted. Why do the quiet ones always move and the loud people stay until they get dragged off? I'm not actually that loud, it's just too much trouble to move. That's all for today, folks!        

J.J. Massa

www.jjmassa.com